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29
Apr
2010
Adopting outside of your race.
By:The Fabulous Mariah HuQ
Ok I know I know, it's been way to long, but give me a break I have been extremely busy filming my production, but some headlines are so good that I must highlight them. And Sandra Bullock adopting that cute little baby boy is one of them. Did I mention he was black? Should I mention he's black? Well I white woman holding a little black baby is somewhat like the elephant in the room that you can't ignore right? lol
Adoption among the rich is something that we have seen more often. First Madonna, then Angelina Jolie, now Sandra. Yes I know Rosie Odonell and others have adopted and this is to be commended, but I think it takes a great deal of courage and heart to go beyond skin color when adopting. Actually, I think it takes courage and heart to adopt period, but what I mean is thats it's so much easier to adapt to someone that looks like you. It's probably alot easier for them to adapt to an enviroment where people look like them as well. So, I commend Sandra for her heart and courage, especially during her trying times.
Becoming a mommy in my opinion is one of the hardest things in life. She is not only a new working mother, but she is also in the midst of a highly publicized divorce so she is stepping to the plate as a single mom. She has alot of work ahead of her and I wish her well on the journey of motherhood. I think the work is harder when you are raising a young black boy, but for some reason I think she will be just fine. I just hope and pray she stays strong, teaches him his heritage, and motivates him to rise beyond the many stereo-types, and obstacles he will face as a minority.
I must add that Seeing her picture with her new bundle of joy on People Magazine, did touch my heart. It reminded me that sometimes love is color-blind and Motherhood is a blessing that sometimes catches you on the blindside.
Comments: 7
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#1
Now you know this is close to my heart for a number of reasons...one because I lived in foster homes of AA families growing up, and two because I adopted a bi-racial child myself. Boy, what a whirlwind on both. I commend the families I lived with for being willing to take in someone like me in areas that are still way behind in acceptance. (Mississippi, and even Richmond!). Since I was older, they didn't worry about teaching me about my heritage but instead showing me the many sides of their own and encouraging me, but not forcing me, to take part in traditions that ranged from food to holidays to church (hello full Gospel! Nothing could quite prepare me for someone falling out in the spirit (as I thought they were having a real heart attack) or dancing at the altar. I have never felt closer to God then when I could "let go" in a Full Gospel church. I have never felt the same, or even close to as engaged or emotional since. Music is so much a part of it but I digress...
I learned about the importance of family dinners, how cooking and the love of food could bring people together, and about the heartbreak of a bi-racial relationship ending because the pressure from outside forces and family and community where just too much to bear for us both.
As I went to adopt my own child, our only requirements were a) moderately healthy and b) needed a home. We were matched with a young mother who was from PR who had conceived with an AA man. There were other families "competing" (because trust me that is how it is in adoption) that were also white. One dropped out because they wanted a white/hispanic baby vs. black/hispanic. The other was all in like us, but came from a super, super wealthy family. I was sure there was no way she would choose us, but in the end she did because she said we were real, honest and that it resembled the life most close to what her daughter would have where she in her family. So I have embarked on a journey of trying to make Olivia feel a part of our family and loved and accepted (though my Father had a very hard time, and still struggles with accepting her whole heartedly, though he does what he considers his best to love her as my own). When i am with her on my own (and before my miracle baby was born) I would get stopped constantly by AA or hispanic women wherever we went gushing about how beautiful she was and adorable, but never by other white moms. I was looked down upon by white women who I can only guess assumed that I was in a bi-racial marriage and something they didn't accept. When my husband was alone with her, he would get looks and even comments or questions from people concerned that he had kidnapped her or was attempting to (malls, neighborhoods, etc.). Craziness!
We are working through identity issues now, and her dealing with the fact that our daughter looks just like her dad and everyone always tells us that when we go places. We are practicing Spanish and working towards the various cultures and heritage awareness issues now.
And don't get me started on hair care and how I am dropping the ball I am sure in that area...but I am working on it!!
All this to say, adopting a child from another race than yours is not for the weak or mild. You have to have conviction, thick skin, patience and understanding and be willing to truly open your heart.
I do read about a movement in the AA community who want to keep black children in black families and block adoption outside the AA race. My thoughts on it are the same as gay adoption. If you could see the conditions that orphans, or kids of the state live in and some of the foster homes they get placed in - any other loving family home would be better than that. There are an abundance of minority children in the system and they should go where they are welcome and will be loved and cared for, regardless of race. But that's just my opinion!
Sorry for the book!
Natalie -
#2
Fine post bro
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#3
Howdy are choosing WordPress to your website system? Iam new at all to the blog entire world yet. Iam hoping to get began and hang up my own. Also i heard about Drupal is okay. Might find my option.... Useful post, thanks.
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#4
Auto Tweet plugin for WordPress
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#5
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#6
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#7
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